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About Deviant Member Rachel SnowdenFemale/United States Groups :iconglou-nox-brigade: Glou-Nox-Brigade
 
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  • Mood: Panic
  • Listening to: Linkin Park
  • Reading: Fanfiction
  • Watching: Law and Order: SVU
  • Playing: Tales of Xillia 2
  • Eating: Chicken salad mmmm
  • Drinking: Water
This is the biggest calamity that I have ever faced in my life, and I am honestly at a loss for what to do to fix this.  All I can do is just hang my head and cry.  I've done that about 20 times today.  I go through a cycle of emotions, from utter disbelief that this could even happen, to sheer panic about what's going to happen next, to painful self-pity, to fury that this could happen to me when I am so close to accomplishing my goals, to guilt that I even exist.  How dare anything stand in my way of graduating?  All I want is to get my degree.  Why must I be derailed again when I am at the top of my class?

Wondering what the hell happened?  Me too.  Let me tell my story.

I was actually having a pretty good day today.  I went to class and we had a rather comical class discussion about snake phobias.  Typical end of the semester high that we all get.  It's almost summer and we are all looking forward to some time off.  I got home and my dad came home from the grocery store about 20 minutes later.  He immediately got on the phone with the bank.  The grocery store had declined his debit card when he went to pay for the food for dinner.  Luckily he had 20$ in his pocket.  So he called the bank and was told that the reason the card was declined is because our account is empty.  In fact it had been overdrawn by almost 100$.

Yes, my parents are broke.  And so am I.  There is no money.  The best case scenario is that we have had our identity stolen.  The school had a security breach and all students Social Security numbers, addresses, phone numbers, card numbers, etc were leaked.  The school retained credit fixing companies just in case someone got a hold of that information, and sent out a letter that they would fix it if something happened.  I am praying that is what happened and we get whatever money we lost back.

Honestly though, I think paying for school and not making much money finally caught up to us.  I don't see any way that I am going to be able to go to school for quite a while.  Hence my self-pity.  I won't be able to get a job if I don't have a degree, and I can't get a degree without selling a kidney.  So I'm really just screwed.  I hate my life right now.  Why did this happen?

I hate to go the route of blaming God, but I feel like he's just playing with me.  Haven't I passed enough tests to even earn a lousy Bachelor's degree???  I've given it countless hours, countless dollars, 9 years of my life, and I am STILL not allowed to have one?  What more must I do?  I am a little pissed that he's slammed the door in my face again.  What did I ever do to deserve this?
Lol.  I forgot to change my emotion/mood section for the last journal.  Just ignore it.
  • Mood: Panic
  • Listening to: Linkin Park
  • Reading: Fanfiction
  • Watching: Law and Order: SVU
  • Playing: Tales of Xillia 2
  • Eating: Chicken salad mmmm
  • Drinking: Water
Doesn't that mean crying in the language of the emoticons?  Lol.  I'm not.  I just took the TAT, the Thematic Apperception Test for an assignment, and I wanted to share what I wrote for it.  The instructions were to look at the "ambiguous" picture and write a fully developed story for ten minutes.

This is the picture: www.utpsyc.org/TATintro/TATlab…

This is what I got out of the picture:
The student walked into the chemistry lab, followed closely by her professor, an imposing and strict looking woman in a white lab coat.  She walked to her spot at the table and prepared herself mentally to perform the difficult experiment that she had been given.  She felt nervous to do so while under such tight scrutiny.  The teacher would be looking only at her for the entire hour that she had been allotted.  She prayed that she would be able to successfully complete her task.

The woman felt a little fretful as she started her final exam in chemistry, the watchful eyes of her teacher boring into her.  She carefully remembered all of the steps to the experiment that she was to perform for her project.  She made sure not to think for too long so it didn't appear that she was incompetent.

The teacher watched her student carefully, taking note in her mind of each and every mistake the girl made so that she could write them down once the test had concluded.  She tried not to give any indication of her thoughts on her face for two reasons: so that she wouldn't intimidate the girl into making more mistakes, and so she could appear impartial.  She was tough, but fair.

The student let out a huge breath and sighed in relief as she finished her experiment with minimal error.  She felt confident that she had at least passed the lab.  Now all that was left was the final and she would be able to graduate.

Five months later, at the end of her last semester, the student proudly held her degree in her hand, posing with her family joyfully as she thought ahead to the future and her career.


I thought it sounded pretty good considering I only wrote for less than minutes and there was no editing.  So I decided to post it up here.  I felt like it should be published, since it was too decent to just be thrown away, and what else am I going to do with it?  So, there it is, for anyone who wants to read it.

Here's the website if you want to take it yourself.  It's free.  Enjoy!  www.utpsyc.org/TATintro/

Also, the reason why I am in such a massively good mood is because I had some wonderful cinnamon desert made by my mom yesterday, and it had icing on it.  Sugar happiness!  It's what got me through the ECC.

Love y'all!

Rachel
  • Mood: Panic
  • Listening to: Linkin Park
  • Reading: Fanfiction
  • Watching: Law and Order: SVU
  • Playing: Tales of Xillia 2
  • Eating: Chicken salad mmmm
  • Drinking: Water
Hi guys.  Bad news.  My neighbor, Dr. Stumpe, passed away this morning.  I woke up to my dad telling me that Mr. Stumpe was dead.  I watched them bring him out and went to be alone and cry it out a little before lunch.  Luckily Dad left me alone.  Don't worry, I'm all right now.  I just needed to get it out of my system.  He was sick for a very long time and I think I was more or less prepared for it.  At least he died at home and his family was with him.

I really don't know what Mrs. Stumpe is going to do now.  I assume their house is paid for, so she may be able to stay, but if she has to move that brings about a whole new set of about 6000 problems, number 1 being the cats.  She has an indoor cat (Daisy, girl) and apparently 6 outdoor cats.  We thought it was only Izzy (boy), Kit Kat (unknown), and Curious George (who is actually confirmed to be a boy and was just taking care of the kittens, not the mother of the kittens).  But we peeked through the fence and there are 7 bowls lined up in a row.  So apparently there are more cats than we thought.  There may be a new litter of 3 or 4 that is not brave enough or big enough to venture into our yard yet.  I'm thinking that's probably the case.  Anyway, if she leaves I doubt the new owners would feed that many feral cats, so then some of them might starve.  And I don't know if a retirement home would let her keep Daisy.

Also the new neighbors may suck.  The Stumpes cannot be beat.  They are the most awesome neighbors anyone could ask for.

On Sunday, we weren't too busy at work because most of the kids were just ending Spring Break, so I had time to roam around and talk a little with the other instructors and students.  I was going to ask Hyun if he wanted to be my new walking buddy since Michael has moved away. (I don't think I mentioned that).  Anyway, before I could even ask him he was like "I have a question for you."  My first thought was "oh yeah, like I can answer the genius boy's question."  Luckily it was not academic.  He wanted to ask me how to ask a girl to prom.  So precious.  He's just adorable.  So he got a lot of answers from me and the other students.  :D  He's a junior in high school, so he's probably 16 or 17.  I know that's not that young, but I have 9-10 years on him, so to me he's like a child.  And he is utterly adorable.  Sweet, polite, adorable.  I don't know what it is about LAMP, but he and Dontavious are both just adorable.  lol.

So in other news, it is my parents' anniversary.  They have now been married for 36 years.  Congrats.

Let me tell you a funny story about cards.  So their anniversary is today and Easter is Sunday right, so I should have gotten 4 cards: one for each parent for each holiday.  I made my mom an anniversary card since I forgot to get her one and she loves cards.  I couldn't deny her that.  So I give dad the card I thought was for the anniversary but was actually for Easter.  So he didn't get a car for anniversary and now I don't have a card for mom for Easter.  So difficult I tell you.  lol.  He was a good sport though and let me laugh it off.  But it was stupid on my part.  XD

In more other news, Dad came in today saying that I had mail, which I never have.  I took one look at it and was about to trash it 'cause it said Phi Kappa Phi or something like that.  I was like NO SORORITIES>>>>>>.  But Dad told me that I should probably read and join it because it would look good on my resume.  It's not actually a sorority.  It's a schoolwide honor society for the students who rank in the top 10% of the University.  So it's nice that I'm one of the best I guess.  lol.  I may join it since I graduate in a year anyway, but I'm not looking forward to whatever social events this will require me to attend.  And I will not be wearing no silly pink t-shirt with Greek letters on it and short shorts.  I refuse.

Something funny about that was that when my dad read the letter he looks at me and just says, and I quote, "You ought to email it to Bitchface and rub it in."  I just sat there and laughed.  Such a way with words.

Also, in class, we were going over alternative medicine techniques.  When we got to acupuncture, she had a vi deo of it.  As soon as the first needle went in most of the class gasped.  It was too funny because everyone did the same thing at the same time, so it was completely collective.  She just sat there and smirked as she watched us.  Then when we got to Reiki, the girl with the tattoos just busted out laughing.  The Reiki video was only 3 minutes, but it seemed to go on forever.  Most of the class was snickering the whole time.  We had an interesting class tonight.  LOL.

Oh, and I apparently also didn't mention that I broke up with Dana on February 21.  He was not serious, and I want a serious relationship, so I insisted we part ways.  It was amicable.  Most drama-free end to a relationship I've ever had.  Except maybe the mutual breakup of me and the frat boy.

Anyway, I think that's all the news for tonight.  Later.
  • Mood: Panic
  • Listening to: Linkin Park
  • Reading: Fanfiction
  • Watching: Law and Order: SVU
  • Playing: Tales of Xillia 2
  • Eating: Chicken salad mmmm
  • Drinking: Water
Oh my God man.  There have been cop cars in front of the neighbors house for over an hour now.  First three, then two, now one.  I know I don't have the right to open my front door and ask what the hell is happening, but I want to so badly.  The cops just left and the neighbors friends followed them in their truck, but there are still four cops talking in a huddle in the middle of the street.  Where's the other car?  Anyway, I know he's a sociopath, so I just hope he isn't the next Ted Bundy and the cops caught him with a dead body in his tailgate.  Freaky man.  Maybe drugs.  Rape?  Torture murder?  All of the above?  God only knows with these crazies.

I did write for a reason though.  Does anyone know what procedure I need to go through if  I want to give the police evidence?  I have something I think might be useful but I have no idea if  I don't know what they did.  I'm on the fence about what to do......

I don't know why I'm so freaked out.  I mean how many times have I wanted to call the cops on these whackoes?  So many.  And now that the cops have busted them for something huge I get freaked out?  I should be doing a victory dance.  Emotions are weird.

The cops just left now, an hour after I discovered they were out there.  Now that I don't have anything to peek through the window at maybe I can sleep.  3:45 in the morning...  I discovered the cops when I went to get water at about 2:30 and spent a while debating on what to do.  I finally got my patents up about 2:50 and they looked out the window for all of 1 minute and decided that the boy must have been driving drink and told me to go back to bed.  But you don't have six cops at your house for over an hour because you drove drunk.

Anyway, excuse the rambling.  This is like the least organized journal ever.   It's really late and there's no one to talk to about it at this hour, so I turned to the Internet.  And I see that I have let my membership lapse.  They should send out emails or something to tell you when that happens.

Rachel

deviantID

rachelsnowden15
Rachel Snowden
United States
Ok, I'm a 24-year-old college student from Alabama. I'm studying elementary education and I'm going to be a teacher at an elementary school here in the city. I want to bring a good education to all students.

Current Residence: Alabama!!! :D
Favourite genre of music: Dance/Pop
Favourite photographer: Me!
Favourite style of art: Oil Painting
Operating System: XP
MP3 player of choice: Sansa
Interests
  • Mood: Panic
  • Listening to: Linkin Park
  • Reading: Fanfiction
  • Watching: Law and Order: SVU
  • Playing: Tales of Xillia 2
  • Eating: Chicken salad mmmm
  • Drinking: Water
This is the biggest calamity that I have ever faced in my life, and I am honestly at a loss for what to do to fix this.  All I can do is just hang my head and cry.  I've done that about 20 times today.  I go through a cycle of emotions, from utter disbelief that this could even happen, to sheer panic about what's going to happen next, to painful self-pity, to fury that this could happen to me when I am so close to accomplishing my goals, to guilt that I even exist.  How dare anything stand in my way of graduating?  All I want is to get my degree.  Why must I be derailed again when I am at the top of my class?

Wondering what the hell happened?  Me too.  Let me tell my story.

I was actually having a pretty good day today.  I went to class and we had a rather comical class discussion about snake phobias.  Typical end of the semester high that we all get.  It's almost summer and we are all looking forward to some time off.  I got home and my dad came home from the grocery store about 20 minutes later.  He immediately got on the phone with the bank.  The grocery store had declined his debit card when he went to pay for the food for dinner.  Luckily he had 20$ in his pocket.  So he called the bank and was told that the reason the card was declined is because our account is empty.  In fact it had been overdrawn by almost 100$.

Yes, my parents are broke.  And so am I.  There is no money.  The best case scenario is that we have had our identity stolen.  The school had a security breach and all students Social Security numbers, addresses, phone numbers, card numbers, etc were leaked.  The school retained credit fixing companies just in case someone got a hold of that information, and sent out a letter that they would fix it if something happened.  I am praying that is what happened and we get whatever money we lost back.

Honestly though, I think paying for school and not making much money finally caught up to us.  I don't see any way that I am going to be able to go to school for quite a while.  Hence my self-pity.  I won't be able to get a job if I don't have a degree, and I can't get a degree without selling a kidney.  So I'm really just screwed.  I hate my life right now.  Why did this happen?

I hate to go the route of blaming God, but I feel like he's just playing with me.  Haven't I passed enough tests to even earn a lousy Bachelor's degree???  I've given it countless hours, countless dollars, 9 years of my life, and I am STILL not allowed to have one?  What more must I do?  I am a little pissed that he's slammed the door in my face again.  What did I ever do to deserve this?

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:iconemaleeanderart:
EmaleeAnderART Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Praying for you and your family! I know it might not seem like it, but God always provides. Just remember to trust Him! I am so sorry for what you are going through :( Whenever I am facing trials, I always try to keep James 1:2-5 in mind. Also Jeremiah 29:11-13. Hang in there! You can do this! God will provide, not only with resources but also with strength for you! 
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:iconmavericktears:
MaverickTears Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015  Professional Artist
thanks for the fave :D
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:iconberalismo:
Beralismo Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2015
Hi! :iconexcitedhiplz:
I really appreciate the :+fav:. Thank you!
Greetings from México! :peace::aww:
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:iconladyofbarians:
LadyOfBarians Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks  for fave my princess uranus cosplay!
if you wanna see more of our cosplay please visit our page!
www.facebook.com/arclightbroth…
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Stacy-L-Gage Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fave!

(you should check out the rest of the fanarts! :D)
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inuliana Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
Thanks for the fave.
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JAYSMILES23 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Hiya :wave: Thank you soo much for the fav :tighthug: :aww: :hug:
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JoJiaMystie Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thank you for the fav! :)
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galaxxxy6 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
Thank you for the fav~ >//∀//<
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lokga Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave!
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